DISAPPOINTED OR DEEPLY HURT?
Hello amazing humans out there!
I'd like to start off this by saying sorry, as this is going to be a bit of a rant. please skip this if you're not interested, but please be kind!
Where am I gonna start? Okay, let's start like this! Is it wrong to chase your dreams? Is it wrong to live life different than normal? Gosh! I hate this! Its harder than I thought! If you've stopped by to read any of my earlier posts, you'd know that I sometimes hold back what I wanna share, even with my closed ones. In the past, I would have used the word "loved ones," but I'm honestly doubting whether they could be called loved ones.
Since I was a little girl, my thoughts and approach for this life have been different from the rest of the family. Whether its my religious believes, values in life or just generally how I wanna live my life; its been different. There have been numerous times, I've been looked down by my own family for the exact reason. As a little kid, it didn't bother me much, but as a woman in her 20s it has started to affect me in more ways than I expected it to be.
If you're from a brown family, and specially a girl in her mid 20s, and unmarried, you'd know the pressure you get from your family to get married. I've been under that pressure for awhile now. It began to get worse after my younger brother spontaneously decided he wanted to get married last year. Is my only purpose as a woman, to get married, have kids and have a family? I've had bigger dreams for my life than that. I'm sorry if that's the biggest dream in your life and that's amazing if that's so. Huge respect to you all! Don't get me wrong. I'd love to get married, have kids and have a family of my own one day. But that's not the only thing I wanna do with my life. I wanna travel the world with my dogs, explore new cuisines, learn new languages and go on little adventures. And not to forget, practice medicine and help people. May be I don't want to be limited to a hospital, I wanna travel the world and practice medicine. May be I'm dreaming too big! Who cares, right? A woman can dream,yeah?
Its easy to say it all loud here but to my own father. He has been an amazing father, in so many ways. He has provided us with the best at all times: taken us around the country, given us the opportunity to be vacationed at amazing hotels and always extra food and clothes, which we may not needed at times. Expressing our true selves and sharing our honest opinions and thoughts about life isn't some thing that we were given. When it came to that department, it was always his way or no way.
I've been wanting to write about this for awhile now. An incident that happened this evening, triggered me to write this up. I'm not sure why I wanted to write this. I have no expectations of this, but I know I'm not the only one who go through such emotions. I know there are so many people who could relate to this or somewhat relate to it. If you're such a person, I'd love to let you know that You're not alone.
This all is very disappointing, but there's no way I'm gonna let go of my dreams, values. I may not verbalize it, but I'm gonna try my best to achieve those and live the life I want to. Even if I'm not able to achieve it all, I'm still going to try my best to achieve as much as I can.
Sorry if this felt like gibberish to you!
Thank you for stopping by!
BE KIND TO YOURSELF!
LOVE ONE ANOTHER!
RESPECT OTHERS, EVEN WHEN YOUR IDEAS DON'T MATCH!